Killer Clowns - The week the world went mad
So this was the week that the world it seems lost its mind - you dare not step outside your door for fear of killer clowns or dare you?
You see when you strip away the hype and hysteria and probe into this bizarre story that broke upon every media source going this week you find that one there has actually been no killings at all non-whatsoever and two there are no clowns involved in the non-killings.
So what is the truth if any in this actual story the answer I was about to find out. For I Robert Bowker aka professional Clown Bibbledy Bob, also the press relations officer for clowns International the oldest clown club in the world. Tuesday morning I woke up convinced that I'd been mistaken for Donald Trump's press advisor my phone was literally ringing off the hook - my email was pinging constantly. At one point I thought my phone would melt. I was being asked for a quote and my opinion or to do a live radio interview giving my opinion on the Killer clown phenomenon sweeping across our beloved nation.
Tuesday morning 7am armed only with a cold cup of coffee with weary eyes I began a barrage of interviews with the nations press from Glasgow to Devon, Cumbria to Cumbernauld I started a round of Radio and newspaper interviews. Some of the very disturbing things I heard were immensely worrying - It seems the new craze involves the youngsters of our day many reportedly to be 16 to 18 buying cheap rubber masks with a scary clown face on it the dressing up and jumping out of the dark on complete strangers or chasing them down the street. I heard of a lady in Cumbria holding a small child in her arms being terrorised with fear as two of these morons jumped out with no warning in front of her. I was told of an incident in Stoke on Trent of a man taking his son to infant school and again a pair of idiots jumping out on his 5yr old boy leaving them both really shaken by the completely unwanted and unwarranted experience. Although the most bizarre and disturbing must be the university student in London who took it upon himself to don the said cheap rubber mask and chase his fellow students around the campus with a real working and switched on chainsaw! What was this fool thinking? The risk of serious injury to himself or others you would have thought to be blatantly as obvious as the reaction that followed from the university itself once aware of this ill-advised so called prank. Not suspiring that the upshot is we have one student currently fighting to remain on his course as a student at that university. These are only a few examples of many incidents that have occurred this week.
Whilst doing the interviews over and over the same question as a real clown what do I make of all of this and how will it affect me? The answer If I put a doctors coat on does that make me a doctor? Clearly not and the same would apply if I donned a dog costume obviously I'd still be human so clearly if that follows just because these idiots are putting on some cheap freak show caricature of a clown mask that certainly does not make them a clown and again I point out no one has been killed. What I make of it is that just as every set of new adults growing up likes to rebel against society and test the parameters of what they can get away with, and what is socially acceptable, this is just another if not somewhat bizarre and surreal case. I hope at some point the parents of those caught doing this will be having strong words reminding these fools of their responsibilities to society, and that this is completely unacceptable behaviour. As to how will it affect me and other real clowns - well I'm sure that in three weeks time Halloween will all be over and the media frenzy will have moved on leaving my friends and I from Clowns International to do what we do best for we are the smile givers, the mischief makers the tear takers - we are the ones who can laugh at ourselves as you laugh with us. We are the ones that accept our vulnerability and don't try to hide it. Our job is to please everyone and scare no one we only want to make people happy and in these challenging times sometimes that's not an easy task, but it's one that we relish and will continue to do in the great British tradition. So from me Bibbledy Bob I bid you a great day an farewell and if you are like an orange I'll see you around.